Arguing With a 3 Year Old

In the last post I mentioned how my son will argue until proven wrong. Last night was a perfect example.

My mom looked after E. yesterday because E. was coming down with something. J. went to the babysitter's as usual. While E. and Lao-Lao were here at the house, they had a snack of granola bars. Thees were the last two granola bars in the house (I will not insert here how wonderful my last 10 days have been - totally sick, husband away - very minimal grocery shopping/errands/house cleaning/cooking going on). Anyho..... after supper J. wanted a granola bar for dessert. I told him there weren't any left because E. and Lao-Lao had eaten them. The following 'conversation' then took place:

J: 'Lao-Lao no eat granola bar.'
Me: 'Yes, J. Lao-Lao was here and she and E. had a snack and they ate the last two granola bars.'
J: 'E. eat granola bar?'
Me: 'Yes.'
J: 'Lao-Lao no eat granola bar.'
E: 'Yes, J. Lao-Lao eat a granola bar. Mei-Mei eat a granola bar. Il y en a pu (there aren't any left - um, 'pu' should actually be pronounced 'plus').
J: (starting to get mad) 'Lao-Lao NO eat granola bar.'
Me: 'Do you want us to phone Lao-Lao and ask her?'
Wait for it........
J: 'Yes.' (He really, really would not take our word for it).

So, we call Lao-Lao, he asks her, she verifies our story.......the subject is dropped completely......never mentioned again. He eats some chocolate chips for dessert. Good lord.

Farmer in the What?

Here's J.'s version of the old classic 'Farmer in the Dell'.


Yes, for him it's 'Farmer in the Cow'! I think he's actually got it now though.

He also does a great rendition of 'London Bridge', but he always sings it to the tune of 'Mary Had A Little Lamb' so when he gets to the end about the Fair Lady it just doesn't work. He insists it's like that though. He's very big on being right on almost everything and will argue his point with me until one of us gives up (usually me) or is proven wrong beyond a shadow of a three year old's idea of a doubt (which is very loose and not always very logical).

Yesterday he was telling his dad about how E. had gotten a time-out for scratching...uh, not because she was itchy.... no, for scratching J.'s face because she was mad. His version of reality was just a little different from mine.

He said, 'Mei-mei go time-out.' (insert happy/self-righteous tone of voice)
DH: 'Oh, what happened?'
J: 'Mei-mei scratch me (shake of the head to show deep disappointment in Mei-mei).
J. cry and Mei-mei go to time-out.'
Me: 'Did Mei-mei go to time-out because you were crying?'
J. (Very, very serious tone) 'Yes.'

Hmmm..... I wonder why he cries a lot????? Might have some work to do on how I respond to situations between these two.....

Fun

Here's what the kiddies are doing for fun these days. Excuse the singing.

All I can say is thank goodness J. gets 'boy' stuff at the dayhome.

Puzzles

The other day while I was busy in the kitchen E. completed these two puzzles completely on her own. The one with the bears is even missing a piece, but she still figured it out. The strangest part (for me anyway) is that she doesn't do the whole outline of the puzzle first and then fill it in. She completes it section by section. She's not doing it willy-nilly though. She's very methodical, flipping pieces around, trying one then another until she finds the piece she wants. She's really thinking about what she's doing, but she's singing and flipping her body around on the floor at the same time. Oh and she's not really that into doing a puzzle more than once. Now that she knows that the bear puzzle is missing a piece, she won't touch it. Santa-she likes and she'll do it again if I really beg her.

Oh, by the way, E.'s Aunty Catherine (my side of the family) gave her that shirt for her second birthday. Yes, I do believe it is in reference to E's french culture. Umm...E. wants to wear it all the time these days.

School, School, School

The first week of school is done (angels singing) and I'm exhausted. Things have nicely fallen into place at school though. My class schedule and subjects have been figured out, my supervision has been assigned (it is supremely cushy) and....... I'm working with two terrific teachers.

That, my dears, is a VERY big deal. You see, I got out of teaching three years ago because - among other things - I just couldn't take the negativity anymore. The griping and complaining about what parents were or weren't doing, the demands placed on us with extremely limited resources, the hour long staff meetings where people argued about whether or not we should demand silence in the halls, the complaining about too much professional development or not enough professional development, and the people unwilling to try things a different way, but hating the way things were being done. This time I told myself I wouldn't get involved with that stuff. I would do my job and go home. But it looks like it's going to be fine. Yes, they complain about decisions the administration makes, but they go and talk to the administration about it or they say what they don't like and then we move on. We have meetings, we decide things together and then the things get done.

The classes I'm working with are great too. I've been pleasantly surprised. There doesn't seem to be a single 'hard case' in either classroom. It's unbelievable. There are kids who talk too much or are a little immature, but not a single child has refused point-blank to do what I've asked them to do or freaked out on another student and no one is bouncing off the walls unable to control themselves.

So, it's shaping up to be a very good year school wise. Home life however is still a shambles.

I'm not used to teaching and having responsibilities at home. I didn't have kiddies when I taught before. Now I have two of them and they have to be picked up from the babysitter's on time and they need to eat supper at 5:30 (I can't just keep working until 7:00 because I'm on a roll) and they need Mama to talk/play with them once in a while (even if she still has another 2 hours of work left to do on her yearly plans). It's been really hard to not have these unlimited blocks of time to get things done. I'm sure it will get easier once I've got the major part of my planning done and I just have to prepare a few things here and there for the next day, but at the moment I feel all over the place. My planning for work is not up to snuff, but I haven't been available for my kiddies either. Pulled in two directions, but not doing either one very well. Thank god Jean-Pierre has been around this week otherwise we'd have nothing to eat in the house and I'd be dead.

I sure do miss the quiet mornings and easy-going days of being at home though.

Not Complaining

I was all ready to sit down and write a post complaining about how hard it's been playing single parent who is transitioning into a new routine. Things got pretty nasty around here for a while as the new routine caused all three of us to be sleep deprived and....well... quite frankly, downright testy.

Mornings were a mess trying to get all three of us out the door clean, fed and dressed without one (or all) of us totally losing our minds. By the way, did you know it can take a 3 year old 45 minutes to eat HIS breakfast?! That's not good when you've only scheduled a 15 minute meal time. And did you know that some 3 year olds HATE to get dressed on as soon as SHE gets up? Well, now that you know, it should save you from experiencing a good, hard, long tantrum when you really, really don't have time for one.

Whoops, but I digress. As I was saying, I was all ready to sit down and write a post complaining about how hard it's been playing single parent transitioning into a work routine when I read a post on the blog of a friend who is still waiting for their child. This friend's file was sent to China at the same time as our file....for E. No, not the second child's adoption. The first time we adopted. That means that if we had stayed in the regular route for adopting from China, we would still be waiting for our first child and I may have been the one to write these words:

"I go home after a much shorter commute and the next part of the day starts. The part of the day I love…spending it with hubs and Daisy (their dog). Just missing a key piece of the puzzle but she will come soon."

That last sentence shot me quickly back to reality and I realized that no matter how frustrating it is dealing with my babies when their schedule is mixed up and when they're missing their daddy at least they are here with us and we are no longer in the painful holding pattern that infertility and adoption creates.

To our friends who are waiting, wishing and wondering ..... I hope the difficult days with your children come soon and that you quickly forget how lucky you are to have them as you become consumed with raising them.

So, since I didn't actually get any of this week's frustrating behaviour on film, I'll leave you with these videos fo the kiddies. Don't they just seem like little angels?

This and That

Well, the kiddies have started at their dayhome for real now. Not even a backwards glance toward Mama or Daddy when we drop them off. I quickly learned to ask for my kisses before I let them out of their carseats because otherwise I'm right out of luck. They scamper into the house and pretty much bolt downstairs to see what the other kids are doing.

I certainly have been pleasantly surprised by E. She has gained so much self confidence over the past year. Around this time last year we started the Mom's Morning Out group. At the beginning of that group E. used to panic if she couldn't see me. It was impossible for her to stay in the childcare room and play while I was in a different room. As we entered the parking lot she would start her chorus of, 'Mama, mama's room, E mama's room.' We worked that out and now look at her. Going into someone else house, having a great time and trusting that either Mama or Daddy will be back to get her soon.

Daddy is at the Flight Simulator in Fredericton this week. Yes, a week of hotel and restaurant living for Baba. The kids ask me at least three times a day where he is. J. really, really didn't want him to go, but he seems O.K. with it now that Daddy is actually gone. Daddy gets home Saturday night and then leaves again Monday for a week in Cold Lake. Not the greatest schedule and I have seen little changes in the kids' behaviour to indicate that they are reacting somewhat to all the changes that have gone on over the past month.

Mostly I've seen that they have both been pushing the envelope more than usual over the past week or so. J. just ignores my instructions. I ask/tell him not to do something and he does it anyway. On the weekend he was leaning over on my back. I asked him to not touch my hair because it was up in a ponytail and I didn't want to redo it. He reached up and pulled out the bottom half of my ponytail. Ahhh...For her part, E. has been having more tantrums. She had a nice one on Sunday. She screamed all the way around the block as we went for our evening walk and then continued the session as I bathed her. Lovely. She slept really well afterwards though :-). So, it's not like they are wildly out of control or anything, but they aren't exactly themselves either.

Next week will bring more changes as I start my teaching contract. I still don't have my full assignment yet. The principal has left that decision up to the other two teachers I'll be working with (or more properly, 'with whom I'll be working'). It appears the bulk of my assignment will be the English Language Arts portion of the Grade Three cirriculum. Since these kids are in a French Immersion program, grade 3 is the first time they will be learning to read and write in English. I'm interested to see what skills they do have or if we're starting from nothing. I've been organizing the heaps of teaching stuff that I haven't touched for the past 3 years. I have lots of stuff on reading and writing. Now I just have to decide how I'm going to organize my time with the students and which stategies I'm going to start with.

Last Day Tomorrow

Yep tomorrow is my last day of work at the oil company. I'm sorry it's coming to an end because I've really enjoyed it. I have to say that working in an office was a bit of a challenge for me at the beginning. I found out I'm not detail oriented at all. That trait combined with the fact that I hate to make mistakes made me a little crazy at times.

So, I don't work next week, but things should start heating up for school the week after. I hope to talk to my principal and find out what my assignment will be so I can begin to prepare more than two days before I have to face a classroom (or two or three) of kiddies.
My kiddies will start going to the dayhome each morning next week so we can all get used to the routine before I actually start my new job. The kids seem pretty psyced about it and have been asking me when they'll get to go to Miss Kelly's. There are three other kids at Miss Kelly's. A boy, the same age as E. and J., and then two littler boys who are about 20 months or so. I think they are going to like it there. I'm sure the other 3 year old is going to be happy to have kids his age to play with.

In other news, J. has come up with a new strategy to get his own way. It has yet to work one time, but he persists anyway. When he really wants something and I say, 'no', he says, 'Daddy dit yes' (Daddy says yes). Daddy can be (and usually is) standing right there and, as you are probably aware, he hasn't voiced an opinion about the situation. I know that J. is getting the vocabulary from me because when the kids aren't listening I usually say, "J. (or E.) Mama a dit non/put your shoes on/go to the bathroom/stop running/come to the table/turn off the TV/it's time for bed". Well, you get the picture. I never say that they should do something because daddy told them to, but J. tries to use it. He only used 'Daddy dit...' for the longest time, but the other day when he wanted a story before bedtime he told me that 'Lao-Lao dit yes'. Um, she didn't. I asked her. I wonder how long it will be before Miss Kelly will be telling us what to do from afar too :-)
J. is also pretty much over this whole 'Daddy Working' thing. He thought it was cute for a while, but now he wants things to go back to 'normal' (like the last six months) or, if we can't do that, it would be fine if Mama goes to work, but Daddy needs to stay home. J's new conversation on this subject goes like this:

J: Mama, Daddy go work tomorrow?
M: Yes, J.
J: He-li-cop-ter (insert strong French accent)?
M: That's right.
J: (insert whinny voice) No Mama. J.J no want it, J.J no want it. Nough (enough) Mama. Daddy no work. Mama, Gung-Gung (maternal grandfather) dit Daddy no go work. (Um, J. hasn't seen my dad over the past few weeks. I guess they must be communicating telepathically).

Ch, Ch, Ch Changes?

DH has been telling me for the last few weeks that he thinks that J. has changed so much. I just don't see it so tonight DH took matters into his own hands. He dressed J. up in what he was wearing the day we met, took a picture and then did a before and after kind of thing. Here is the result so you can judge for yourselves:

One interesting thing about this little experiment is that J. was willing to try on his Gottcha Day clothes. Two months ago he didn't want to have anything to do with them.

Since we were trying J.'s clothes on, we decided to put E.'s on too. Her's finally fit. She was 15 months old when we got her and now at 3 years and 4 months her Gottcha shorts stay up!

So, here they are....thinking they are so incredibly funny.

What's J. Up To?

While Daddy and Mei-Mei were upstairs getting ready to go grocery shopping, J. settled down to a quiet few minutes with his favorite books. He read three of them, but by the time I clued in to what he was doing, got the camera out and set it up somewhere that he wouldn't see me, he was on his last one - 'Le Bateau de Leo' (Leo's Boat). He says 'bateau' (boat) and 'poisson' (fish) alot as he turns the pages. He's right, the book is about Leo catching a big fish while riding in his handsome, handsome boat.

It's too bad I missed taping his rendition of 'La Voiture d'Arthur' (Arthur's Car). He 'read' a lot more of that one. Hopefully I'll catch him at another time because I'm sure when he graduates from medical school he's going to want to see how far he's come.

In other news, J. became a Canadian Citizen on July 16. See how proud he is. Apparently becoming a Citizen doesn't mean he's going to wear pants more often though. (Yes, the certificate is strategically placed).

Daddy made a yummy chocolate cake to celebrate the occasion. Celebrating with cake means only only thing to this little man - CANDLES. He just HAD, HAD, HAD to have a candle to blow out!