All of the Sudden It's Been a Year!

January 21, 2008 was the day J. joined our family. He was offically adopted the next day. Since that time a year ago, J. has grown yet he's remained the same in so many ways. He's definately the boy we met in China - affectionate, contemplative, lively, funny and curious with just a touch of cheekiness. I've been truly stunned at the ease of his transition and I'm proud of the way he has remained who he really is. One example is how he has insisted on keeping the name with which he identifies himself. He is J. no if-ands-or-buts about it and so he will always be. Recently we were sitting in the rocking chair in his room looking at the pictures we have hanging on his wall. He identified everyone in the pictures and then he said, 'Mama, we need to change that one (indicating the picture of DH, E. and I taken while we were waiting for his paperwork to come through) 'cause I not in it and I in the family now.' Then he told me that we needed to change his letters (letters that spell S.A.M. that are on his wall) " 'cause there's no J. in that'.

What happened to J. a year ago was not romantic. It was damn hard for him. He was forced to give up all he knew, almost all he was actually, to begin again in a very strange world. He handled it all with such strength, grace and humour, while facing it all head on. He was able to seek comfort when he needed it and to find joy all around him.

His medical issue has not turned out at all as we expected. We assumed he would need surgery and a hospital stay followed by appointment after appointment in his first months with us, but glasses and patching has all that's been required. His eye/brain has responded even better than the doctor first predicted and now both eyes are working together as they should. He still needs to wear a patch every second day for two hours and to have monitoring visits with the opthomolgist every 6 months, but the prognosis for his sight is excellent.

Ahh, our J.

E.'s big brother and best friend, Mama's little man,

Papa's other piece, a true little boy and

the completion of our family.

Furture Designer

Yes, E. created this outfit all by herself.

The ensemble consists of the absolute fashion necessities of:

• the Pocahantas' headbands (so-called because you look like Pocahantas when wearing them)
• the patented 'U Necklace' (a letter 'u' that belongs in a floor mat gets placed backwards around the neck)
• the very favorite Penguin Pajamas
• the 'Mama Spent the Months We Waited for Your Paperwork to Come Through Knitting' knit blanket
• the ever popular Purple-Clicking-High-Heeled-Princess shoes with the see-through toe complimented by the Pajama-Matching Elephant socks.

Are we feeling it or what?

Her Peeps were definately feeling it. Here she has them all lined up on the kitchen counter adoring her as she eats supper. Yes, she calls them her Peeps. The other day she said to me, 'Mama, do you want to go and play with my Peeps with me?'

E.'s World

E. is never E. anymore. For a long time she played Cinderella (see previous post), but she was always just acting out certain parts of the story. These days she is whatever character she's obsessing about. She is Pocahontas today and we have to call her that. If I slip up and call her E. I am gently corrected (not just by her BTW. J. corrected me during lunch today). Sometimes she is Miko (the little raccoon from Pocahontas). Of course I am usually Miko. I love it when I get to be him because he doesn't talk which means I get to just sit there. Other times I'm 'Jasmine' (that's how they pronounce it). This is confusing because Jasmine is a princess from the Aladin movie, but that's not what they are trying to say. They're saying 'John Smith'. That's the guy that loves Pocahontas. I wonder who she'll be next.......

J'isms

J.'s use of language really expresses who he is. Some of it is cute because it's grammatically incorrect yet understandable and some of it is just so.....him....that it cracks me up. So, here we go:

#1: I tink so.

- The most popular and frequent of his expressions, it is used to end conversations and really means, 'This is how it is. You are completely wrong. Case closed.'

e.g.

J: Aunty Krista gave this to me.

M: No, that's E.'s toy

J: Aunty Krista gave this to me, I tink so Mama.

M: No, Mama and Daddy bought that for E.

J: I tink so it's for me Mama, yeah, I tink so.

M: Whatever.

J: I tink so Mama, it's for me.

Video Proof taken during dinner this evening:

#2: I no need/want/like/have it

- Also very popular. Used to express the negative of almost anything.

J: I no like this show Mama.

I no want it. I want different one.

M: Who locked the door while Mama was still in the garage without a key to get back in?

(this is a fun new game they have started)

J: I no lock it Mama (said in an extremely innocent, nay angelic, tone of voice).

E. do it. (Really meaning closer to: 'Gee, I guess E. must have done it mom.')

(Ummm, usually she has not done it. No, she's more into turning out whatever light is on in whatever room you're in. Not so great when you're chopping onions in the kitchen at 5:00 pm and the room suddenly, unexpectly goes pitch black. No, not so good. There was some yelling that accompanied that one. Yeah).

#3: I need help

J: I need go pee Mama

M: Go ahead dude. I really don't need to know about it every time. You can go by yourself.

J: I no want to Mama. I need help.

M: Help for what. Just go up and go by yourself.

J: (The whinning starts) I no want to, I no can go pee by myself.

(Now lying on the stairs), I no want to, I no want to Mama. I need he..he..heeelp.

I no turn on the light (Now really starting to freak out - crying & jumping up and down). There's no bench Mama, there's no bench. Ahhhhh.......(self destruct has been initiated......self destruct initiated.....beep, beep, beep, beep....... count-down started. Does not compute, does not compute).

#4: Us things

-Used to express the concept of things that belong to us or 'our' things.

J: Who touch that us car Mama?

Why they give that to us Daddy Mama?

#5 Why?

- This is engrained in every utterance, nay, every thought that the boy has. No, I am not exaggerating here for effect. It's so engrained in our conversations now that I had trouble coming up with specific examples. I'll have to add to this section later today. Once he's up from his nap I'm sure a few dozen examples will occur.

M: It's time for bed J.

J: Why Mama?

M: You need to put your coat on now J.

J: Why Mama?

M: Umm, it's -35 outside today. You might feel a bit cold without it.

O.K., two minutes up from his nap and this conversation occurs. You need to know that we went to the library and then to Safeway this morning....like, 4 hours ago.

J: (out of the blue while eating his snack)

Why we go to library then we go at Safeway?

M: (What can I answer to that?) I don't say anything.

J: Why someone makes footprints in us snow near us tree Mama?

M: Wait just a moment J. (since I'm writing down what he's saying I can't answer right away).

J: Why you say me, 'Wait a moment?' (barely takes a breath)

Who makes that footprints on us snow?

Who makes that?

I not know.

You Mama?

My daddy not did that.

He say (I'm guessing 'he' is daddy), No not me.

Not me either. Someone did it.

(Who the hell is he talking to. No one is answering BTW).

Kennedy's Quest

http://yangzhoufundraising.blogspot.com/

Please check-out this blog. This is a little missy who was among the first girls adopted out of China in the early 1990's. She has now been invited back to her orphanage for a reunion, but she needs to fundraise to make it happen. Her mom was our sponsor for bringing Eva home and the woman who connected us to so many other families like ours in Montreal. Anyway, if you can give a few dollars it would be greatly appreciated and if not the link may be of interest to you anyway.